Happiness..............

So..... happiness ? hmmmmmm What truly makes me happy? Can I really come up with a list of 10? MAyBE if I can list 1-7 as my kids! LOL Lets see...............


10. A beautiful sunrise/sunset
9. A fresh glass of ice tea
8. A good book and quiet time
7.
6.
5.
4.
3.Making someone else happy
2.My husbands arms around me
1.My children's laughter

WOW I cant believe I cant finish this list?! That is sad when I cant figure out what makes me happy! I mean I can think of cheesy things like getting all the bills paid on time every month or getting dinner done on time, or all kids in bed and asleep by 9! But to dig really deep and find what truly puts a smile on my face and makes me feel like I am on a cloud I really can't give you ten right now! I could go to your sites and get some ideas and cheat but i can t do it! wow I don't even know what to say..................

hello......

So I promised I would post later today and here I am!!! yay.

We have been dealing with the same old stuff..........Behavior problems.....again. yay. I am exhausted by them. They eat at me and tear me apart! They sadden me and make me hurt all the way to my heart! I cry at least once a day because of them. I have tried EVERYTHING I know EVERYTHING I have been taught! I really don't know how much more I can take! I have yelled, I have been calm, I have ignored...........done it all!!!!!! Please God help me!

We have 7 children in this house as you know and I feel like there is only one these last 2 weeks! She has ate up every bit of attention she could and believe me it isn't like I wanted to give it to her! I know alot of the times she is just looking for attention however, when she is banging things or her self off the wall and hurting other kids I kinda have to step in.... She has all most got kicked off the bus more then once these last 2 weeks.....kicked out of at least one class per day and almost kicked out of after school church program.......I mean come on! These are things she loves to do and when she is good she has a ton of fun!! So what is going on???? I am clueless and I think the counselor is to! I have to find answers for this child before its to late and she grows up and becomes a serial killer................Any help? any advise? please?!

Hello...........

good morning everyone!! I only have a minute but I promise to blog more later!! It has been crazy around here! I dont know what is going on with Cheyanne but she is being more changelling then ever! Well not ever she was worse when we first got her. But it is still pretty bad! I will go into more later! I hop everyone is doing good! I have been still reading your inspiring blogs! Some days they really keep me going! So Thank you!!!

GREAT DAY!!!!

ITS GONNA BE A GREAT DAY!!!!!! HOPE THE SAME FOR YOU!!!!!

Light..........

I have so much to say but no energy to do it! I feel like crap today! I have a head ache and a sore throat and i am tired!!! blah blah blah............... sorry to whine!

i went to a friends house last night. She has a friend who is a phsycologist (sp?) and works with people about emotional eating. However she specializes in trauma. So after it was over I hogged her all to my self and just went crazy asking tons and tons of questions about my Cheyanne. O I was so happy to be able to get all the information out of her i could (without it costing me an arm and a leg)! Wow it really opened my eyes on somethings. Now that I look at it I realize that I have been doing some things wrong and I am gonna work really hard on fixing them! One being that I parent Cheyanne just like I do all my children and that is one of the problems. All of our adopted children are from foster care and have been abused but none as bad as Cheyanne. Things are really bad with her right now I don't know if I like or love her at this point. I want to badly and cry about it often but it just hasn't happened yet. I take her to counseling every week and it is the same thing every time i see no improvements. The lady that I talked to last night said she is willing to work with Cheyanne and i know it would be good for her! But it is scary as well. I know ALOT of things will be dug up and gone through! It is a risk for sure that maybe it will get worse but Cheyanne is 11 and if we cant reach her soon I am afraid it will be to late! Right now we are just surviving and getting through and I want more for her then that! She has missed out on so much already! She needs to be a kid! She needs to have a mommy and daddy that loves her!

Well so much for a short post! So we have another coun. appt today and i am going to discuss with coun the things that we talked about last night. So I pray that this opens a window for Cheyanne and she will be able to move through this and understand why she is this way and that it can change. And we can love her!

Am I speaking another language?

OK so my lovely cheyanne! I think that maybe it is not her. Maybe I am speaking another language when I am talking to her and telling her for the millionth time NOT to do something! She will stand right in front of me and do it over and over and over. I will say do not ask again or do not do that again......She always come back with a "but i was only"........ Or....."OK mom but can I" It drives me crazy.......It has to come to the point that I am about 2 inches from her nose and say in a very firm almost loud voice and say " CHEYANNE I SAID NO AND I MEAN NO!!!" or " CHEYANNE I SAID DO NOT DO THAT AGAIN!!!!" Even then as she is walking away she has something to say! So Maybe I am bi lingual (sp not sure) and I don't know it! I ask every once and a while to my husband "I did say that in English right? "He just laughs and says "yes".....but maybe he is lying!!!

On another note our preschooler was having trouble counting so i was working with her and she says to me ......." can I do it in Spanish?" I said " No silly English" To which she went on to try to count to 10 in English and was having a hard time. So just for giggles I said "okdo it in Spanish"
and SHE DID PERFECTLY!!!! All the way to 10!!! I didnt know if I shoud feel proud or bad because that must mean to much Dora!! LOL

So maybe I need to speak Spanish to Cheyanne to!!!! LOL

Send a blessing.......

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Nothing says summer like ice cream!!!!

Another snow day!!!

GO AWAY SNOW!!!! Ok even though we are starting to get tired of the snow it does give us time together.............

Redneck word of the day.......

So I was sitting and doing homework with Matthew and we were doing Science he had to correct his science test......... this is our conversation......

ME: OK Matthew what does Climate mean?

MATT: It means climate you know when you climb a mountain you climate!!!

O my I was very good and did not laugh right way but my husband was laughing in the back ground making it very hard not to laugh!!!

To cute!!!

Spring.......

Trying to make spring come faster! Doesn't my new look make you think of sunshine!!!!!????

I just don't know..............

It's been another day of stress and craziness here! Mitchell got into food at school today which made his sugar 385 at dinner! Then I caught him getting into the water at bed time and his sister!

i have to admit I am a yell er! BUT! I have been working really hard not to yell lately to talk calmly with each kid when they do something wrong and it seems like this had more effect in the moment but quickly wears off...... i am so frustrated! I really need time away to regroup! i have been extremely tired lately and I know its stress! I have cried everyday in the last 5 days at least!

i just don't know............

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh..................

AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH.............................deep breaths!! Lord please please please give me more patients!!!

I don't know if something is going around or what but man am i stressed!! As I type this 3 of my 7 children are grounded! And as i am typing they are still getting in trouble! I will give you the run down.............

Grounded child #1~ He would be grounded for lying......this is his 3rd week in a row! I have made him do every chore i can think of hoping that he will think man if this is what I have to do when I lie I will think twice.......but nope every week he gets almost to the end and lies again!! I don't know what to do that he will get it! I tell him that he has to ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS tell the truth NO MATTER WHAT!! and that lying will just get you into more trouble! It just don't sink in!!!

Grounded Child #2~ He is also grounded for lying and sneaking stuff! He is my diabetic child so it is highly important that he does not sneak food and drinks without asking!! Drives me crazy!! then he goes and drinks a gallon of water before bed and pees to bed!!! I have even set up a reward system for him when he does not do this stuff and it worked for about a week!

Grounded child #3~ He is grounded because he thinks he can talk to me like I am someone or something other then his mother or should I say yell and scream at me! He has huge anger issues and when he don't want to do something right then or is getting called out on something he just goes off!!!

OOO there's one more.....

Grounded child #4~ She is grounded because she lied, she tried to attack 2 of the other kids, she called my husband a stupid liar because she got caught lying, she was mad at me because i sat her in time out so she decided to poop her pants and had it everywhere including all over my floor......i am sorry to be graphic but maybe you guys got some advice that i haven't tried!!! None of the other kids want anything to do with her right now because she is so hateful to them! i have to admit i love her but I am not sure I like her right now either! Took her to counseling today and even the counselor was like o my! So what do you do?

I am trying to be as patient as I can with them and breath as deep as I can! some days I feel like my head is going to pop off!

Let me remind you these are children that have been abused more then your imagination can think of! It is a cycle with them they are really really good for a while and then they are really really bad for a while! I don't know if they realize that they are happy and then are worried that it wont last or if something triggers them.......

Any thoughts or advice would be great! PRAYERS WOULD BE AWESOME!!!!

o yeah we went to church yesterday and it was awesome!!! I could stay there all the time! Lord fill my cup because I need it!!

Trying to deal...........

So today just hanging out with the kids and sled riding! Have some friends over to do this with! It got really cold last night so the snow has an almost icy top so you go really fast the kids tell me! I made a scallop potato casserole thing and put it in the crock pot to cook all day so I don't have to later! Smells sooooo good! Nothing like a nice hot meal after sledding!!

So last night I went to a friends and had a few glasses of wine and relaxed! We both had a very stressful week! I have been dealing with Cheyanne and her issues daily she has really been pushing me! It seems the harder I try with her the harder she fights me! We are on counselor #4 with her the last 3 told us there was nothing they could do to help her! I am anti medication at least as much as I can be and they just want to keep upping her meds. Which is fine if that is what it takes but I know that someone can help her more, I just have yet to find them! She is 11 years old and needs to learn coping skills to learn how to handle her self in the world! We are not always going to be able to fix things for her or tell her what she needs to be doing! I don't know......

Anyway.........it was nice to relax with a friend and vent about our week! I have to do this more!!! I will post later tonight............

Just laugh...........

So interview went well! I am not sure if I got the job yet but I really enjoyed meeting the people there! It would be a great place to work! Very nice! The roads were pretty clear when I left to go! I was very happy! I had not been out of the house in days because of this GREAT SNOW!!! I just went to the store to get some things that we were out of and every where I went some one was talking about ANOTHER STORM coming in on Sunday night they said 15 to 20 INCHES!!! They must be crazy right??? i don't want no more snow!! Can't we sign a petition or something???? Please God no!!!!

On another note~~~~~~

My day after the store was me chasing our shih Tzu around the yard in 2 foot of snow trying to get her to quit eating her on poop and get in the house!!! Great, right? Does anyone know why dogs do that? She has a vet appt tomorrow. I am gonna find out, it is GROSS!! I am sure the neighbors love to watch me do this!

Today is laundry day! yay! I tell all the kids to bring all there laundry down before they leave for school and before i start the laundry I wonder to myself hmmmm should I go check there rooms??? naaa i know my darling little children listened to there sweet mommy and brought all there dirty cloths down!! NNNOOOOTTTTT!!! Of course I don't go and check until I am up stairs cleaning up there rooms and low and behold 3 more loads to do!!! And I think someone sped up the washer and dryer they seem unusually fast today! Not that i am complaining but I like to sit and relax in between loads you know!!!

So that's my day so far! Kids had a 2 hour delay this morning so it feels as if they are only gone for an hour or 2! They will be home in about 40 minutes! So i got to finish up a few things!!!

If you need me I will be out chasing the dog!!!!

SMILING!!!!!

You when you read a really good book it is like you get to be in another persons thoughts and go into another world not your own! that you get to zone everything out and get a little time to your self in this secret world!! That's how I feel when I get to read your blogs and spend time on mine!! i love it!!

Well today I have an interview! I am having mixed feelings about it because...........
well i have been a stay at home mom forever!
who will watch the kids?
will it be worth it?
do i really want to work???

hmmmm the list goes on and on!! I used to work in a nursing home as a State tested nurses aide and i loved it! So that is what i would be doing again! I let my licenses expire so this would get them back! I put the application in back in November because my sister was in a really bad accident and in order to help take care of her when she came home I had to have my ST NA licenses! Well i could not find anywhere to get them so i started putting in apps. now they called and while my sister still needs tons of care and will for a long time! i am having mixed feelings! I think I will go ahead and get my licences and work part time for a little bit! I want my kitchen redone and a deck on my house so that will help to go to that! i am pretty sure my dad will watch the kids for me if it is only part time! I think I am more nervous about driving in the snow then the actual interview! School was canceled again today! Its crazy here!! I was on the phone forever last night until I actually found a sitter at the last minute for me to even go to the interview! My dad usually watches them but they are out of the country in a warm place on vacation!!! O well it all worked out! I pray that I make it there safely!!!

OK have to start the car to warm up!!! You guys have a great day!!! Thanks for taking the time for me!!!

Giving me light on my path.................

SOOOOOOO..............I am sad I still have no followers! I don't know why that is so important to me, but it is! i think I am looking for someone to say they know what i am going through and that I am not going to lose my mind!! I guess I am going to have to lure people here!!!

Let me tell you about how you guys have inspired me! I have been reading your blogs now for a week or 2! And to be honest I WAS one of those people who never had time for God! I always had a good intention and was gonna start tomorrow! But I have to come to realize that tomorrow may be to late! We have 7 amazing kids that God has totally blessed us with and I am wasting time cleaning and doing everything else and NOT TEACHING THEM ABOUT HIM!! R U KIDDING ME WE ARE SO MISSING OUT!! and to remind you it is because of all of you! ( check my blog list to see) i feel like when I am reading your blogs i am peering in to a world closer to God and it makes me feel all warm and cozy on the inside!! I want to be apart of it!!

So tonight for the first time IN A LONG TIME we got out our family devotions and sat down with our children and had devotions! It made me cry! Nothing makes me feel more like a good mom then those times when I am teaching my kids about God!!! It is the best feeling in the world!! We live in a place where people think we are crazy for having 7 kids and no one invites our family to things because we have so many kids! But you know what i know god knows i need that connection with someone and he will give it to me i just have been looking in all the wrong places!!! well starting this Sunday we will be going to church! i know i will find people on the same mission i am on there and that is to give my kids the way of Jesus so i know they grow up with the right values and able to make the right decisions!!!

So thank you all for helping me to see what was missing in my life and showing me the way to get it on the right track!! i know it wont be easy but it will be soooooooo rewarding!!! i hope that i can become friends with many of you and not feel like i am spying!!!!

WEEKEND...........

SO this weekend was so relaxing!! We tried really hard not to talk about the kids but some how it always comes back to them!! We did have a great time! We went out to dinner with some friends and had some adult conversation!! My hunny got a hotel room with a jacuzzi tub! i loved it! It was so relaxing!

As i said the kids were all at Billys moms this weekend they came down and got them in our van because they dont have a van or anything big enough to put them all in! So as we were enjoying the weekend they called and said the van broke down at the park where they took the kids to sled ride! I felt so bad for them and was worried! Well they got the kids back to there house by making a few trips! Thank God! So we were in touch with them on and off for the whole weekend about the van! I was worried that it was going to be something major and cost alot of money! IT WASNT!!! It was the coil pack thingy???!!! It only cost 35$!!! I was so happy! And Billys dad and brother in law fixed it for us! I thought that was very nice of them!! So kids are all home now and happy to be home! i missed them!

So we live in ohio and as i type it is snowing like crazy!! This is our 3rd storm in like 2 weeks! The school already called and are sending the kids home 2 hours early!! Everything is already covered! i am assuming no school tomorrow! YAY we get to sleep in!!! WHHHOOOOO!!!

So i am going to go finish up a few things before the kids get home! I see sled riding in the near future!!!

Heaven

She is just to cute!!! She is 10 years old!!

Billy

And this is my hunny!!! Isnt he CUTE!!!! His name is Billy and he is wonderful!! As proved here helping the kids with there V-DAY cards!!! He is an awesome daddy!!

Nevaeh

This is Nevaeh! She is my girl!! She is the happiest child!! She is always giggling!! she loves her baby dolls and her kitchen! isnt that smile catchy?!!!

Cheyanne

This is Cheyanne! She is our most diffcult child! She is our no matter what child!! No matter what we will love her! As hard as that may be sometimes!!! She was forced to grow up to fast and has so many issues because of it! She loves animals and is very helpful!!

David

This is David! He is the oldest at 13! He has a heart of gold and will do anything for anyone!!! He is a great kid! He reminds me how blessed we are each day!!!

Samuel

Aww this is my Samuel!! He looks identical to his daddy! He is his daddys shadow!!! He loves to be outside helping daddy build or fix stuff!!! He is ALL BOY!! He still likes to cuddle with mommy to though!!!

Matthew!

This is Matthew! He is 9 and he is Mitchells twin! He is a great worker and will do anything he can to help and make you smile! He loves to dance and be silly!!!

Kids......

So all kids left yesterday except one! Cheyanne is in the big sister big brother program!! Which is an awesome program!!! So she is going with her big this weekend! She leaves at noon! You know I was wondering how many of us Mommy's get all excited when we know we are going to get time to our selves and then when the time comes we feel guilty and worry about everything!! I know I sure do! I worry about other people driving with them and of course Mitchell's sugar and are they wearing there seat belts tight enough! Are they eat to much junk..... are they being good! O my the list goes on and on!! It is really hard for me to just take a deep breath and let it go! they are with people who love them and take great care of them!! SSSooooo just let it go!

I am still not sure what the entire plan is for this weekend I just know it is well needed! I am ready! Cheyanne will be leaving here at noon! then I am off to the store to get some last minute things I think I will need for this weekend!!!

Well I hope that everyone has a great V-Day!! I would love to know if anyone is reading anything that I am typing????????? I feel like I am talking to the world and until I know for sure I am gonna assume that I am!!! So by for now world!!!!

This is Mitchell! He is 9 and a twin! He is the one who has type 1 diabetes...... He is very independent! This was Thursday night doing valentines at the last minute.......

This is Heaven we call her sug! Of course this is a sled riding night! She is So silly! She is 10 years old!

Chillin........

So I was right about the snow days! The kids were called off again today! We just got done brining in fire wood for the wood stove had snack and getting ready for lunch shortly! Last night we went sled riding in the moon light! I love sled riding with the kids because all you here is laughter!!! All there giggles!

Today we are just doing chores getting ready for the weekend! The kids are all going to there grandparents this week so getting all there stuff ready to go is a chore in it self!! I am so looking forward to having some quite time!

So off to do more chores!!! Have a great day!!!

SNOW DAYS!!

So as of today the kids have been off school and we have been snowed in for 5 days!!! I am getting cabin fever and the kids are restless! Lucky we live in the country and we have big hills great for sled riding!! It is snowing now again and i look for them to call school off for the rest of the week!

HOWEVER!!!! My sweet hubby has set up a romantic getaway for this weekend! Valentines Day!! He arranged a sitter for all the kids and everything!! I am so excited!! I don't care if I have to shovel my way there I am going!! LOL There is nothing like your husband setting everything up and not having to do anything!! I love it!!! I will have to update you as to how it goes!! Did I tell you that I have the most amazing husband in the world! His name is billy and he treats me like a queen! He comes home from work at 6 every night and jumps right in with the kids and whatever needs done and tells me to go take a hot bath or get a few minutes to my self!! He is great!!! I love him!!!
Ok I have to get to the days chores! Have a Great day!!

A little about us.........

Well I am sure you figured out that we have 7 kids! We have been married for almost 11 years! As werid as it sounds we are not one of those couples that argue alot we get along great and always have! It is probaly because we spend all our time taking care of the kids! Lol! You are probaly wondering why on earth we have 7 kids! Well let me tell you how that happened!!

Of course there is the normal hump and bump method! We got 2 of our children that way! We adopted the other 5!!! We both became foster parents when we turned 21 and all of the kids that we fostered that were not able to go back to there birth families we adopted!! We have been truly blessed by these children we are lucky to have them!!!

Now being that these children were foster kids they have alot of issues that have to be worked trough daily! Let me tell you there ages! David 13, Cheyanne 11, Heaven 10, Mitchell 9, Matthew 9, Samuel 7 and Nevaeh 4!!!!

Cheyanne is the one who changelles me the most she has severe ADHD, mood disorder, attachment disorder! We can hardly find anyone to watch her because she does not listen to anyone other then us and even that is rough!!!

Mitchell is a type 1 diabetic since about a year ago! That has been a huge changelle!!! It is a life changing experance for all of us!!! He has alot of built up anger as well.

Matthew is Mitchells twin brother and Cheyanne is their sister! We adopted them as sibilings! Matthew is a great kid and a hard worker! He has the most anger though if he has to serve any consquences for anything he just goes off!

David is the first child that we adopted and he is the oldest at 13! He is an amazing child! He has a heart of gold! He is caring and very loving! He is haveing the normal teenager issues right now! Being mouthy and thinks he knows every thing!!! The biggest thing with David and all of the kids in fact is lying! Thay had to start lying at such an early age to survive that it is so natural for them and it is hard to break!!

Nevaeh she is just a stubbrun little 4 year old! She can stand her own ground with 6 sibilings!! She knows how to be heard!!!

Heaven and Samuel are our biologic children! They have grown up with us fostering so it is normal to them, they love having a big family!

The reason I wanted to start a blog is to find people that are going through the same things we are that we could share with! To let the world see into our great family, and to make some new friends along the way!!!