I have so much to say but no energy to do it! I feel like crap today! I have a head ache and a sore throat and i am tired!!! blah blah blah............... sorry to whine!
i went to a friends house last night. She has a friend who is a phsycologist (sp?) and works with people about emotional eating. However she specializes in trauma. So after it was over I hogged her all to my self and just went crazy asking tons and tons of questions about my Cheyanne. O I was so happy to be able to get all the information out of her i could (without it costing me an arm and a leg)! Wow it really opened my eyes on somethings. Now that I look at it I realize that I have been doing some things wrong and I am gonna work really hard on fixing them! One being that I parent Cheyanne just like I do all my children and that is one of the problems. All of our adopted children are from foster care and have been abused but none as bad as Cheyanne. Things are really bad with her right now I don't know if I like or love her at this point. I want to badly and cry about it often but it just hasn't happened yet. I take her to counseling every week and it is the same thing every time i see no improvements. The lady that I talked to last night said she is willing to work with Cheyanne and i know it would be good for her! But it is scary as well. I know ALOT of things will be dug up and gone through! It is a risk for sure that maybe it will get worse but Cheyanne is 11 and if we cant reach her soon I am afraid it will be to late! Right now we are just surviving and getting through and I want more for her then that! She has missed out on so much already! She needs to be a kid! She needs to have a mommy and daddy that loves her!
Well so much for a short post! So we have another coun. appt today and i am going to discuss with coun the things that we talked about last night. So I pray that this opens a window for Cheyanne and she will be able to move through this and understand why she is this way and that it can change. And we can love her!
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Praying for you!!!! Praise God that you are willing and wanting to help. Praise God you met someone to help, and praying that it does. Healing is hard, and comes in sooo many stages, and takes a lot of time, and prayer!
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