" Tune your ears to wisdom, and concentrate on understanding......Then you will understand what it means to fear the Lord, and you will gain knowledge

of God" (proverbs 2:2,5)




Monday, March 29, 2010

Happiness..............

So..... happiness ? hmmmmmm What truly makes me happy? Can I really come up with a list of 10? MAyBE if I can list 1-7 as my kids! LOL Lets see...............


10. A beautiful sunrise/sunset
9. A fresh glass of ice tea
8. A good book and quiet time
7.
6.
5.
4.
3.Making someone else happy
2.My husbands arms around me
1.My children's laughter

WOW I cant believe I cant finish this list?! That is sad when I cant figure out what makes me happy! I mean I can think of cheesy things like getting all the bills paid on time every month or getting dinner done on time, or all kids in bed and asleep by 9! But to dig really deep and find what truly puts a smile on my face and makes me feel like I am on a cloud I really can't give you ten right now! I could go to your sites and get some ideas and cheat but i can t do it! wow I don't even know what to say..................

Friday, March 19, 2010

hello......

So I promised I would post later today and here I am!!! yay.

We have been dealing with the same old stuff..........Behavior problems.....again. yay. I am exhausted by them. They eat at me and tear me apart! They sadden me and make me hurt all the way to my heart! I cry at least once a day because of them. I have tried EVERYTHING I know EVERYTHING I have been taught! I really don't know how much more I can take! I have yelled, I have been calm, I have ignored...........done it all!!!!!! Please God help me!

We have 7 children in this house as you know and I feel like there is only one these last 2 weeks! She has ate up every bit of attention she could and believe me it isn't like I wanted to give it to her! I know alot of the times she is just looking for attention however, when she is banging things or her self off the wall and hurting other kids I kinda have to step in.... She has all most got kicked off the bus more then once these last 2 weeks.....kicked out of at least one class per day and almost kicked out of after school church program.......I mean come on! These are things she loves to do and when she is good she has a ton of fun!! So what is going on???? I am clueless and I think the counselor is to! I have to find answers for this child before its to late and she grows up and becomes a serial killer................Any help? any advise? please?!

Hello...........

good morning everyone!! I only have a minute but I promise to blog more later!! It has been crazy around here! I dont know what is going on with Cheyanne but she is being more changelling then ever! Well not ever she was worse when we first got her. But it is still pretty bad! I will go into more later! I hop everyone is doing good! I have been still reading your inspiring blogs! Some days they really keep me going! So Thank you!!!

Friday, March 5, 2010

GREAT DAY!!!!

ITS GONNA BE A GREAT DAY!!!!!! HOPE THE SAME FOR YOU!!!!!

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Light..........

I have so much to say but no energy to do it! I feel like crap today! I have a head ache and a sore throat and i am tired!!! blah blah blah............... sorry to whine!

i went to a friends house last night. She has a friend who is a phsycologist (sp?) and works with people about emotional eating. However she specializes in trauma. So after it was over I hogged her all to my self and just went crazy asking tons and tons of questions about my Cheyanne. O I was so happy to be able to get all the information out of her i could (without it costing me an arm and a leg)! Wow it really opened my eyes on somethings. Now that I look at it I realize that I have been doing some things wrong and I am gonna work really hard on fixing them! One being that I parent Cheyanne just like I do all my children and that is one of the problems. All of our adopted children are from foster care and have been abused but none as bad as Cheyanne. Things are really bad with her right now I don't know if I like or love her at this point. I want to badly and cry about it often but it just hasn't happened yet. I take her to counseling every week and it is the same thing every time i see no improvements. The lady that I talked to last night said she is willing to work with Cheyanne and i know it would be good for her! But it is scary as well. I know ALOT of things will be dug up and gone through! It is a risk for sure that maybe it will get worse but Cheyanne is 11 and if we cant reach her soon I am afraid it will be to late! Right now we are just surviving and getting through and I want more for her then that! She has missed out on so much already! She needs to be a kid! She needs to have a mommy and daddy that loves her!

Well so much for a short post! So we have another coun. appt today and i am going to discuss with coun the things that we talked about last night. So I pray that this opens a window for Cheyanne and she will be able to move through this and understand why she is this way and that it can change. And we can love her!