Light..........

I have so much to say but no energy to do it! I feel like crap today! I have a head ache and a sore throat and i am tired!!! blah blah blah............... sorry to whine!

i went to a friends house last night. She has a friend who is a phsycologist (sp?) and works with people about emotional eating. However she specializes in trauma. So after it was over I hogged her all to my self and just went crazy asking tons and tons of questions about my Cheyanne. O I was so happy to be able to get all the information out of her i could (without it costing me an arm and a leg)! Wow it really opened my eyes on somethings. Now that I look at it I realize that I have been doing some things wrong and I am gonna work really hard on fixing them! One being that I parent Cheyanne just like I do all my children and that is one of the problems. All of our adopted children are from foster care and have been abused but none as bad as Cheyanne. Things are really bad with her right now I don't know if I like or love her at this point. I want to badly and cry about it often but it just hasn't happened yet. I take her to counseling every week and it is the same thing every time i see no improvements. The lady that I talked to last night said she is willing to work with Cheyanne and i know it would be good for her! But it is scary as well. I know ALOT of things will be dug up and gone through! It is a risk for sure that maybe it will get worse but Cheyanne is 11 and if we cant reach her soon I am afraid it will be to late! Right now we are just surviving and getting through and I want more for her then that! She has missed out on so much already! She needs to be a kid! She needs to have a mommy and daddy that loves her!

Well so much for a short post! So we have another coun. appt today and i am going to discuss with coun the things that we talked about last night. So I pray that this opens a window for Cheyanne and she will be able to move through this and understand why she is this way and that it can change. And we can love her!

Am I speaking another language?

OK so my lovely cheyanne! I think that maybe it is not her. Maybe I am speaking another language when I am talking to her and telling her for the millionth time NOT to do something! She will stand right in front of me and do it over and over and over. I will say do not ask again or do not do that again......She always come back with a "but i was only"........ Or....."OK mom but can I" It drives me crazy.......It has to come to the point that I am about 2 inches from her nose and say in a very firm almost loud voice and say " CHEYANNE I SAID NO AND I MEAN NO!!!" or " CHEYANNE I SAID DO NOT DO THAT AGAIN!!!!" Even then as she is walking away she has something to say! So Maybe I am bi lingual (sp not sure) and I don't know it! I ask every once and a while to my husband "I did say that in English right? "He just laughs and says "yes".....but maybe he is lying!!!

On another note our preschooler was having trouble counting so i was working with her and she says to me ......." can I do it in Spanish?" I said " No silly English" To which she went on to try to count to 10 in English and was having a hard time. So just for giggles I said "okdo it in Spanish"
and SHE DID PERFECTLY!!!! All the way to 10!!! I didnt know if I shoud feel proud or bad because that must mean to much Dora!! LOL

So maybe I need to speak Spanish to Cheyanne to!!!! LOL

Send a blessing.......

Hey check out these amazing pictures! They capture all those moments you wish you could make last forever!!! Go to www.storinguptreasures.com or www.esty.com/shop/wifetotherockstar !!! Please check them out and tell ALL your friends!!!

Nothing says summer like ice cream!!!!

Another snow day!!!

GO AWAY SNOW!!!! Ok even though we are starting to get tired of the snow it does give us time together.............

Redneck word of the day.......

So I was sitting and doing homework with Matthew and we were doing Science he had to correct his science test......... this is our conversation......

ME: OK Matthew what does Climate mean?

MATT: It means climate you know when you climb a mountain you climate!!!

O my I was very good and did not laugh right way but my husband was laughing in the back ground making it very hard not to laugh!!!

To cute!!!

Spring.......

Trying to make spring come faster! Doesn't my new look make you think of sunshine!!!!!????